[She shakes her head and scoffs.] I didn't use all of mine yet. Can you imagine what my arm would look like with five metres of tape around it?
[This time, as Shepard makes her slow and arduous way over, Tali manages to push herself into a sitting position, though she has to shake the acidic strain out of her arms after. She's already gesturing at the bed before Shepard even fully reaches it, curling her legs underneath her with only minor difficulty.]
I think... [She clears her throat again.] I think it was one-double-oh? So About fourteen or fifteen days, Citadel-time.
Could be a side effect from whatever kept you under.
[Which is at best an idle, throwaway comment that has everything to do with not thinking about how much has happened since 101, since 96 or 98 when she went under.
She lets her legs hang off the edge of the bed though it means all the blood rushing to her feet prickles and stings in her socks - wriggles her toes absently in an attempt to chase out the pins and needles from walking staggering there. Which, by the way, she's definitely using as rationale for why it's completely acceptable for her to settle across the width of the bed, propped up on an elbow.]
I heard you and Garrus had a heart to heart while I was out. [Jumping right into the deep end shouldn't be a surprise at this point. Sorry, Tali.] Do you want to talk about it?
[With a thoughtful noise - it's not like she knows the side effects, or in fact what it's like to be in a medical coma - she starts a slow series of stretches; cracks her neck, flexes her shoulders, gradually tries to work feeling back into each part of her. Real feeling, not a vague mugginess as if her very muscles are confused.
The directness of it - she should be used to Shepard's ability to cut right to the heart of anything - gets little more than a momentary pause in her slow movements. A second later, she continues by violently cracking one wrist, but it's a few moments more before she finds words. Even so, there are measured pauses - the sound of her still drawing together the threads in her line of thought.]
When we were fighting Saren... Even before that, really - when his mercs were chasing me across the galaxy - I got used to the idea that I might not survive. [Cracks the other wrist.] I wasn't going to just let it happen, but... I'm not immortal. I might die.
But I never, ever thought he would. [And then she stops, and if Shepard happens to look, her mouth is twisted, eyes staring down at her legs and clearly not seeing them.]
[And what is she really supposed to be able to say that won't sound like empty platitudes? Parents die. They're supposed to do it before their kids and if you're lucky, they give enough of a crap about you before they do that it stings - but it's not like she isn't fully aware that's a cavalier attitude at best, something acidic and jaded at worst. And she'd have to be more than just blind to know that's not the right thing to say. Would have to be more than blind not to feel some wrench in her chest for Tali's sake.
A beat of silence. Then:]
I'm sorry, Tali. [She extends her hand across the bed, palm up and fingers loose in quiet offering.] I didn't ever know him, but from what was on the Alarai-- I know he was proud of you.
[She reaches out and takes Shepard's hand, squeezing lightly and offering her a grin.
Coming to terms with Shepard's death these past two years was a longer process than she ever thought it would be - in the end, she'd spent more time mourning the woman than she'd actually known her alive. Then she'd barely been over finding out Shepard was alive when... here they are. Like everything's normal, except now they destroy planets and Shepard's not their captain anymore. Their captain is a woman who will rip apart members of the crew just to prove a point (that crew member being an AI makes, in this context, very little difference).
And her father is dead.
And he was 'proud of her'.] My father was... He was really popular on the fleet. He loved our people. He was dedicated to our homeworld.
[Enough to put them all in danger. Enough to torture sentient beings. She hates the geth, but only enough to kill them. There are things worse than death.]
But you don't have to try to make me feel better, Shepard. He chose the fleet over his family a long time ago.
[A Fleet that Tali had been a part of. It's on the tip of her tongue, but doesn't go any farther than that. Not interested in equating Rael'Zorah's less than stellar decision making with anything like paternal affection. Because she can't say if it's true, for one, and it sounds more like a burden than relief.
So instead she returns the light squeeze of her fingers and goes for something a whole lot less saccharine - more honest, maybe. Because it's probably going to feel like crap no matter what she says.]
It's still bullshit. So if you need anything or even like, I don't know, a solid night of braiding hair and talking trash about the CDC's tech or whatever - you know I'm good for it.
Sounds good to me. [She grins. That's the Shepard she knows.] We'll make it work. You can braid my belts.
[She leans forward a little, crossing her legs slowly and carefully. Her hand, along with Shepard's, come to a slow rest on the bed.]
I know Garrus told me a few things, but I'm... worried about the fleet without him as well. It'll be tough replacing him on the admiralty board. I can't just leave here and find out, either. [There's a split-second's pause.] I mean, I know Garrus is ahead of me, but after that...
[Assuming there's an after that, considering the Reapers. Really, this is way too complicated.]
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no subject
[This time, as Shepard makes her slow and arduous way over, Tali manages to push herself into a sitting position, though she has to shake the acidic strain out of her arms after. She's already gesturing at the bed before Shepard even fully reaches it, curling her legs underneath her with only minor difficulty.]
I think... [She clears her throat again.] I think it was one-double-oh? So About fourteen or fifteen days, Citadel-time.
Somehow it feels like a lot longer.
no subject
[Which is at best an idle, throwaway comment that has everything to do with not thinking about how much has happened since 101, since 96 or 98 when she went under.
She lets her legs hang off the edge of the bed though it means all the blood rushing to her feet prickles and stings in her socks - wriggles her toes absently in an attempt to chase out the pins and needles from
walkingstaggering there. Which, by the way, she's definitely using as rationale for why it's completely acceptable for her to settle across the width of the bed, propped up on an elbow.]I heard you and Garrus had a heart to heart while I was out. [Jumping right into the deep end shouldn't be a surprise at this point. Sorry, Tali.] Do you want to talk about it?
no subject
The directness of it - she should be used to Shepard's ability to cut right to the heart of anything - gets little more than a momentary pause in her slow movements. A second later, she continues by violently cracking one wrist, but it's a few moments more before she finds words. Even so, there are measured pauses - the sound of her still drawing together the threads in her line of thought.]
When we were fighting Saren... Even before that, really - when his mercs were chasing me across the galaxy - I got used to the idea that I might not survive. [Cracks the other wrist.] I wasn't going to just let it happen, but... I'm not immortal. I might die.
But I never, ever thought he would. [And then she stops, and if Shepard happens to look, her mouth is twisted, eyes staring down at her legs and clearly not seeing them.]
no subject
A beat of silence. Then:]
I'm sorry, Tali. [She extends her hand across the bed, palm up and fingers loose in quiet offering.] I didn't ever know him, but from what was on the Alarai-- I know he was proud of you.
no subject
Coming to terms with Shepard's death these past two years was a longer process than she ever thought it would be - in the end, she'd spent more time mourning the woman than she'd actually known her alive. Then she'd barely been over finding out Shepard was alive when... here they are. Like everything's normal, except now they destroy planets and Shepard's not their captain anymore. Their captain is a woman who will rip apart members of the crew just to prove a point (that crew member being an AI makes, in this context, very little difference).
And her father is dead.
And he was 'proud of her'.] My father was... He was really popular on the fleet. He loved our people. He was dedicated to our homeworld.
[Enough to put them all in danger. Enough to torture sentient beings. She hates the geth, but only enough to kill them. There are things worse than death.]
But you don't have to try to make me feel better, Shepard. He chose the fleet over his family a long time ago.
no subject
So instead she returns the light squeeze of her fingers and goes for something a whole lot less saccharine - more honest, maybe. Because it's probably going to feel like crap no matter what she says.]
It's still bullshit. So if you need anything or even like, I don't know, a solid night of braiding hair and talking trash about the CDC's tech or whatever - you know I'm good for it.
no subject
[She leans forward a little, crossing her legs slowly and carefully. Her hand, along with Shepard's, come to a slow rest on the bed.]
I know Garrus told me a few things, but I'm... worried about the fleet without him as well. It'll be tough replacing him on the admiralty board. I can't just leave here and find out, either. [There's a split-second's pause.] I mean, I know Garrus is ahead of me, but after that...
[Assuming there's an after that, considering the Reapers. Really, this is way too complicated.]